Well I was I bed on time but the sleep thing hasn't happened yet. :( hoping soon. Laying here awake trying to will myself to sleep. Lol news flash Joleen, it doesn't work. All it does is make my mind wander and think $hitty thoughts I don't want to think about, but it's too late to shut them off! Damn it!! And so starts or continues the insomnia and starts the Anxiety...ugh...lame, but here goes....
Tonight I'm sleeping in the same bed as my hubby. For a couple of reasons. 1, I love him. 2, anxiety has gotten the best of me and once again I worried something will happen to me in my sleep. Therefore IF something were to happen, then my hubby would be able to deal with it in the AM thusly sparing my chitlin. UGH! I can't believe I just typed that out?! Who the frick thinks of $hit like that?? Oh yeah, women who have been Dx with HG, are extremely anxiety ridden, and slightly depressed. GOOD LORD!!!
Anxiety makes me do and think lots of things I don't want to. Freakin $hit. Apparently tonight it's making me swear a lot as well.
My migraine is creeping back as well. Pfft! I've broken out my old trusty hot pack u warm up in the microwave. LOVE it. It's already cooling off :/ this hot pack and I...we go back, WAY back!! I remember having the hubs warm it up past hot to Disco Inferno for me. He'd bring it in wearing "the ove glove" one of the best inventions..anyway he'd drop the scorching hot pack on the bed and I'd get it positioned just right to BURN the left side of the base of my skull!! It would be so hot that it would actually numb out the pain I was going through. Crazy stuff! I did that for weeks! this hot pad was like my teddy bear!! It's nice to have u old friend.
As it cools down I'm brought to thinking about my life and how it has changed over the last 27 weeks!! 27 weeks??? Can u even believe that??!! I am so thankful to have made it this far!! I would never in a million days, would have ever, ever, had made it to this day!! And mostly because I figure I wasn't gonna make it or this princess baby girl wasn't going to.
Miracles really do happen, and they happen for specific reasons! I have NO IDEA yet of the specific reason of this little miracle, but come hell or high water we'll figure it out together.
Off to bed!!!!!! I hope!!!
Until Later
~J
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Please feel free to comment, But please note that I am human and by posting mean hurtful things, you are in fact HURTING my feelings. If you don't have anything nice to say, then you don't need to say anything at all. With that being said....I would love to hear from you =D