Waiting....it's always the hardest part. Lol

Well I called the hospital at 6am and they have me on "hold" I almost started crying 😞 not really, but I made it through the night and now this... 👎 She told me that once a couple babies were born then they would call me, but if I didn't hear from them by 10, I needed to call them back. Boo!!! Just more time to be nervous! Lol I showered and fell back asleep which is good because I need to conserve my energy. Now I should get up and eat something, but I'm still on the couch conserving. Lol
What a nerve wracking day!! I'm sure it's not going to get any better ;)

I'll keep updating

Until later
~J

Nervous!!!!

Yes I am getting nervous!! No idea what to expect tmrw!!! I've never had to be induced with Chitlin. I'm getting nervous because I don't know how long it will take, I don't know what to expect, I don't know if I'm going to be able to push enough, will I need to? Will it be 3 pushes and out or will it be 2 hours? Will my tachycardia hinder me? What about my shortness of breath?? (I still have anxiety I have a small blood clot in my lungs!! CRAZY I know!!!) will I need a c section?? Am I gonna puke while pushing because of my HG?? Will my HG be gone instantly or am I gonna be one of the lucky ones that has it for awhile after... Ugh....so many what ifs....

I'll keep u all posted!!!

Until Later
~J

Crappy night!!!

It is JUST 1am and I have been woken up 3x by my freaky fast HR, not being able to breathe, and panic!!! Great!!! I'm in for a long night. I wonder what I do differently during the day that causes this....I don't really think anything....maybe it's sleep apnea??!!! Idk, I'm just grasping at straws here and I just want them to stop because they are not helping my anxiety AT ALL!!! I'm sorry, but it down right puts me in a shear panic about why does this happen? What causes it, what are the effects of this happening?? Is this hurting my baby?? Is this brain related??? Ugh...I'm done. 1 more day!!! If I can make it 1 more day. Ugh now I'm getting barfy... So not cool!!

Until Later
~J

Nothing today...

Feeling better today, took some pix of the hubby cutting down trees, took a 2 hour nap, ate cereal for supper, now a migraine. Just waiting for Monday 6am to make our call.
Hitting the hay with extra strength Tylenol and zofran.

Until Later
~J

3:30 and it happens again.....

Up again at 3:30. Using the bathroom and dry heaving. This time complete with chills! Sooo ready for this to be over!!! Both episodes started while I was asleep and my heart began to race. Sigh....I haven't had that in two weeks. Needless to say, I'll be scrubbin the toilet again and praying my water breaks soon!!! This crap is getting old!!!

4:30 and I'm finally done vomiting and wetting my pants! There was a part of me that though just maybe it was my water but it was not. Just urine. That's nothing new! Lol
It's so early, I can hear the birds chirping outside!!! Boy, wish I could be that chipper at 4:35am!!! Maybe under different circumstances. Who knows?!

So I'm debating calling the doc office this morning. My doc and nurse are both out. I know they will put me through to another nurse. After vomiting like I did, I really should get fluids. Just don't know if I should call the office or right to the OB triage?? I suppose calling the office would be better. I just hate having my dad drive me because when I get fluids it's a 2+ hr ordeal and yeah he gets to sit in the room with me, but there isn't a whole lot going on in a clinic room. I could see if I can download Netflix on my kindle and have him watch a couple tv shows or movies.
Ugh....HG I HATE YOU!!! I am never going to allow u to ruin my life ever again!!!!

Until Later
~J

HG u ruin everything!!! E V E R Y T H I N G

Really??? 12:06 Friday morning and I'm scrubbin the toilet so I have something clean to puke in??!!! Ugh??? Again HZg is relentless and I hate it.
I was sleeping....soundly I may add....and all of a sudden I got really sweaty and barfy. Got up went to the bathroom. Realized quickly, I will be spending more time in here than I wanted tonight. Maybe it's a good sign??? Well I doubt that very much, but maybe I will vomit so hard my water will break!!! Hey, it could happen!!! You never know!!! Lol fingers crossed huh?
Although if it did break we'd have to hightail chitlin over to my parents, 10 mins in the opposite direction of the hospital, turn around and drive 35 mins to the hospital. Meh, we'd make it work! Lol ;)

Ugh I wish this feeling would go away!!! It really is a downer. Then pair it with dry heaves and it is just a recipe for disaster!

I wish I was sleeping, and I wish it was Monday morning at 6 so I would be calling the hospital. One good thing is, I am going to ASK for an IV when I do go to the hospital JUST so I can get IV zofran!!! That stuff is like gold!!!!

Until Later
~J

Nesting, nesting, nesting

Today I did so much!! Probably too much, but it needed to be done. Got the dresser in baby's room started sorting out the cloth diapers and clothes. Still need a few things. Chitlin was such a good helper today. She was helping so much I couldn't believe :)

I think she's really excited for the baby to be here!!! Just like me!!! And dad too ;)

Having some weird contractions. I don't think mine will ever be "normal" lol we will just see what happens ;) lol

Until Later
~J

Yucky day

I was hanging out some diaper inserts on the line since its sunny out. I came in an instantly started sweating!! Even my upper lip!! I sat down for a sec and I was WAY lightheaded!! It didn't help that my eyes were not adjusting from being out to in. I thought we'll maybe blood sugar?? Ate all carbs for bfast and it was after 12. So I chugged a bunch of Gatorade and ate a string cheese. Still feeling really lightheaded and dizzy got my BP cuff and that was good and my HR was okay under 100. I stopped sweating then got the chills INSTANTLY!! And the goose bumps wouldn't go away!!! Finally after about 5 mins and me getting a heavy sweatshirt on I've warmed up a bit, but am still feeling REALLY sick. I took my zofran and some Tylenol then made chitlin a lunch which was cheesy broccoli rice. I sat down to eat with her and now I'm second guessing that ALL together!! :( blech!!!

I hope this is just so per labor craziness. Idk, but it freaked me right out back to like week 11!!!

Doctor appt went well today!!

My doc appointment went well today. Got in got my vitals, BP good, pulse 120 resting :/ that's nothing new tho. Lol

I asked the doc if he would strip my membranes. He said yes. Whoo that hurt more then I remembered it with my first!!! I'm just hoping it will work. I've had some minor cramping, but nothing major. But then again I never had contractions with chitlin until after my water broke and even then they were very few! So this might work! ;) and it might not.

Doc also brought up induction. I was so excited!! He said he we call the hospital and see when they can schedule me!!!! So if this baby girl doesn't come before the 28th then I will be going in on the 29th!!! I need to call at 6am on the 29th to ask when they can schedule me. Typically the doc says its at 7 unless they have to many other women scheduled. then I will come in later. I cannot believe that within 6 days I will become a mom of 2 and we will go from a family of 3 to a family of 4!! So excited.

Ironically today was probably one of the worst nausea days I have had in weeks! And I mean dry heaving and thought I was going to lose it in the car!! I didn't so that's good!!! Migraine is pretty steady too but I'm hoping sleeping will help!!

Until Later
~J

Doc appt tmrw

Today I have felt crummy ALL day!! Short of breath, high pulse, nauseous, uncomfortable, my stomach actually Hurts, migraine and vision sensitivities. So really nothing new. Lol

Anyway...tmrw is my doc appt and let's hope for progression, stripping my membranes, and setting up an induction date. Perfect world scenerio would be 5-6 cms and being admitted ;) a girl can hope and wish can't she??!!! Lol

I will let u all know how it goes!

Until Later
~J

If I have to read one more....

Post on my baby forum of women having their babies I'm gonna lose it!!! Okay not really lose it but seriously??!!!! They are across the board 33-38 weeks. I'm seriously sitting her begging this baby to come out and she's just so damn snugly in there!!! I wouldn't be pushing it so much if I wasn't having all these crappin health issues and if I even felt 1/2 way decent, but man!!! I'm done. (Yeah I know I've said it before, but its because its the TRUTH!!!)
I've been having some pretty heavy migraines again and just want them to be over along with the nausea. Anyway....same old crap just a different day!!! Hoping this is over sooner than later.

Until Later
~J

Chitlin's birthday, what a great day!!

It was amazing and fun and I'm glad we got to spend the day with her!!! She is my most favorite 5 year old EVER!!!

I'm feeling really icky tonight. Just a lot going on through the day. The hubs went to pick up branches with chitlin ( from one of the recent wind storms) and I didn't want to be alone at home so I went with. I didn't help of course just sat and watched and did some walking for endurance building. It doesn't really count as endurance building when u can only walk about 100 feet before needing a break!!!
Chitlin had fun at first, then just wanted to ride on the 4 wheeler with dad. Her and I stuck it out together, until he was done. Came home made dinner and then chitlin and I lay on our bed watching bob the builder!!! Awesome right?!?! Love moments like that.

Now it's my bed time and I'm exhausted, barfy, have a front migraine and physically hurt. Time to sleep! Lol I was hoping I would have went into labor today so my two kiddos could have shared the same birthday but no such luck. I know there is 1.5 hours left in the day. Anything could happen ;) lol
Lets just say I'm ready for whenever Baby girl decides to come (soon I hope)

Until Later
~J

Tomorrow my Chitlin with be 5 years old!!!

I can't believe it!!! Chitlin is going to be 5 tmrw!! what the crap? Where has the time gone? I REALLY REALLY REALLY wanted to throw her an awesome birthday party with friends and all....BUT....HG had a different idea. So I guess birthday party #6 is gonna be AWESOME! LOL 

Had my dad drive em around the city today to a couple different stores to find her a spring jacket. you think i could find one? not one I liked! I ended up getting her one, but it doesn't have a hood. and it is black and gold! yuck! but i got it for her, if she doesn't like it we can return it. not a problem. My poor dad chauffeuring me around. Just cant do driving anymore it is just too exhausting. I have to do too many things at once. LOL I think he is okay with driving me around tho. 

Came home and I was done. laid on the couch until supper, then got up ate, and lay back down. Now typing on here getting chitlin ready for bed. I ca't wait to upload some pix! She is gonna be so happy! 

And what an awesome surprise we will have if Baby Girl comes tomrw!! oh it would be glorious! Chitlin is all ready to share her day with her. LOL hope she isn't disappointed if it doesn't happen!!





okay, off to get her in bed, and me to sleep too. bad headache STILL.....blech

Until Later
~J    

Feeling sick!!!

I feel so incredibly sick. I have a bad migraine and I'm beyond barfy! I will be so excited for the day I will not be barfy!!!

I went to target with the hubs tonight. I rode the sweet motorized cart!! He just walked next to me helping grab the things off the shelf. What a guy! Lol poor guy was probably so embarrassed!! The cart was so old and went so slow!!! Lol it was great. Anyway, we bought the rest of the stuff we needed for baby girl. We should be set for the first 3 months. Bottles, pacifiers, side snap onesies, playmat, sun shades....u name it we are ready ;)
Unfortunately this outing has caused me to be overly physically and mentally fatigued. So sad!!! :/ I cannot wait to get my body back and start working on me and getting things figured out. And the awesome bonus is.....baby girl will be HERE!!!

So tired!! Laying down....

Hugs everyone!!

Until Later
~J

God??? Are you there??? It's me, Joleen.

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE let me go into labor early!!! I know 17 days isn't long, but ill be honest, I'm physically and emotionally drained!!! It's really taking a toll on me!!! I am grateful already to be pregnant with Baby girl, now I just need u to push things along!! Plus she is running outta room in there, and not moving nearly as much and it's freaking me out!!! I don't need the added anxiety!!!

Anyway....thank you for listening and taking me into consideration!!!! I REALLY appreciate it!!! REALLY I do!!!
Fingers crossed

Until Later
~J

Cleaning Chitlin's room and the neurologist

My mom came over today and helped me clean out Chitlin's room. We threw out a brown grocery bag worth of garbage and donated a kitchen garbage bag full of toys!! I wanted to do more but I couldn't. I was exhausted. And all I did was sit on the bed sorting things into bins. I needed a nap after that.

Dad drive me to my neurology appt. today. Everything with my headaches and occipital neuralgia seems to be doing well/better. I got one more injection today in 2 different places. The back of my skull is sore, but I know it will be better tmrw.

Really ready for this baby to be here. Hoping she gets my hints!!! She hasn't been as active, but I'm guessing its because she's running out of room. My next dr appt is Tuesday. I'm going to ask him to strip my membranes and I am going to express to him my concerns about this baby's size. Lilly was a peanut at 7.2 and she came out with a small abrasion on her head and I tore. Which wasn't as bad as it could've been but I did need stitches. So ill be bringing that up!!!

I had a great night sleep last night and I hope for it again tonight!!

Until later
~J

Pedicure, no baby...yet! Lol

My parents drove me to town so I could get my pedicure. It felt awesome!! My feet look good and they feel great as do my calves!! If u know me, u know I HATE having my feet touched!! But today was worth it! <3
The rents took me and chitlin out for lunch too. Half way through....I knew I had done too much. Made it through but as soon as we got to their house I lay down for 2 hours!! I was exhausted!!! Felt better after lying down, headed home and took chitlin to the library. We were there about 20 mins she picked her books and movies and she even colored a pix. Then it was home where I laid down for the rest of the night!
The hubs took chitlin out to the farm and walked the trails while I didn't move! ;) it was nice.

If u wouldn't mind send me some positive vibes to get this little girl moving!!! My next appt is the 23rd and I am going to stand my ground and ask for my membranes to be stripped!!!' No ifs ands or buts!!

Until Later
~J

Dr appt today- felt blown off

I felt like my appt today was a total waste of time :(
I was in and out in less than 15 mins. THAT NEVER happens!! I only saw the doc for 4 mins. Didn't even do a cervical check on me!!! What???!!! It was so rushed! I really think I could have skipped this appt and stayed home.
I did manage to ask if he was going to check me and he said, "next week" Wth??? Sooo disappointed!!!

So now my goal is to try my hardest to have this baby on my own! Lol not sure how I'm gonna do it, but I'm gonna try! LOTS of old wives tales out there. I'm sure some of them work!! Lol
Anyway, gonna head outside with chitlin before it gets to windy and more rain comes. Snow later this week. Blech

Until Later
~J

A day to recoup

Spent the whole day down and out. On and off napping, lots of zofran, and lots of Tylenol. It was worth it to see my family and for chitlin to have a much needed afternoon out!!
Doc appt tmrw, going in and begging him, seriously begging for him to strip my membranes and to set up an induction for the 22nd. I think that they are both fair requests considering my health. Both physical and mental!!!
Ill let u know how it goes!!!

Until Later
~J

Mini watermark visit

My sister and nephew, and her cousin and daughter came down to the Big City to visit us this weekend. We were supposed to stay over night at the hotel, but I just couldn't. They had a mini water park for little kids and it was a lot of fun. I kept my butt parked in a chair 99% of the time and the hubs 1:1 chitlin. It was fun to watch!! I did get nervous a few times because the kiddos were being a little too brave in the water. But with there being 1 adult for each kid it was nice.
After swimming for 2 hours we went out to eat to the restaurant attached to the hotel. It was yummy and kids ate for free :) BONUS!!! During supper though I really started to get sick. Nauseous, hot, bad headache, muscle pain. I think it was from being upright for 4+ hours and being actively engaged. I'm physically and mentally exhausted! It was A LOT of fun!!! But, I have a feeling I will be recovering from this for a couple days!!!

Hitting the hay
Until Later
~J

Leaky boobs!!!! :D

Yes, I have leaky boobs!!!! I couldn't be happier!!!!! Just one more step in the right direction!!! My body is getting ready and I NEED it to be ready!!!! Now, will I get contractions first, or will my water break first??!!! Last time my water broke first and I only had a few contractions. I sooooo hope it happens that way again.

Although as I am getting excited about this, my HR is going crazy!!! Yikes!!! Calm down and make it through the next couple days.

Until Later
~L

Called the nurse this morning.

Doc was at the hospital doing rounds, the nurse will call me back, but she didn't have anything to offer me :( she thought maybe a sleeping medication. That's really the last thing I want. :( so nauseous right now. Hope the doc has some ideas...cuz this, this isn't working for me. AT ALL

Until Later
~J

That was short

After finally falling asleep around 11ish, here I am up at 12:22 heart pounding seriously. I'm done. 12:41 and I'm setting up shop! Already done disinfecting the toilet, ready to blow chow :( I put toilet paper on the front of the bowl after I clean it so I have a place to lean. This is where my sweet, patten pending, over the toilet shelf would fold up from the side and swing over the bowl. So I could lean on that instead.
Sigh....I'm so over this, I'm just over this all. I seriously thought about waking up the hubs and having him take me to the ER. They would ship me off to labor and delivery, but I'm gonna wait a bit here and see what happens.
Ill update as the night goes on, ill be on here more I'm sure. In all honesty, I thought it was much later than it was!

Until Later
~J

Was woken up at 337am and tried to go back to bed right away. It sort of worked. Now it's 501am and just the same. I did have a bizarre dream that freaked me out. Yay hormones....NOT!!!
Lets try this calming down sleep thing again.

Until Later
~J

Hormones don't mix with tachycardia AT ALL!!!

So, I'm laying here trying to figure out this whole crappy tachycardia crap, not getting anywhere and realize that I never called Chitlin to say good night to her. She's spending the night at my parents. And it's too late to call now. :( so then my hormones take over and I'm crying. Crying at 10:10pm cuz I didn't call chitlin to tell her I love her. Then the stupid anxiety kicks in because not only is my Pulse elevated, but my chest AND back hurt. Ugh!!!! So now I'm anxiety ridden, tears streaming down my face, my chest hurts, I'm ultimately thinking I'm not gonna "make it" and all I wanna do is tell chitlin I love her.
I really need this pregnancy over, I need my HG to be gone, I need all this medical crap to be DONE with!!' All of it. I physically just can't take it anymore. I'm a blubbering pathetic bag of hormones that can't keep he own crap together!!! Wtf???
24 days to go and I seriously feel worse now than I have in months!!! I'm not in my dark days, but lord knows I'm close!!
I am going to call the nurse tomorrow and just let her know how the week went and how I'm feeling now. NOT GOOD!!! NOT GOOD AT ALL!!!
I hope they can do something soon!!! I mean like super soon.
I don't understand how in this day and age women are still dealing with these types of pregnancy problems!!! I can see why so many women died while carrying a child or during childbirth!!! Unbelievable.
I'm gonna see if some Zantac will help me with this pain. It could very well ne heartburn as well. Who knows??!!!

On a positive note, my occipital nerve block seems to have been successful!!' I have had no headache or base of the skull pain since I have had it. The back of my head/neck is stiff a bit, but I'm chalking that up to the steroid itself and the actual injection. Kinda like how a tetanus shot hurts so bad!!! Yeah, that's what I'm guessing it is. It is better today that it was yesterday tho. High 5!

Okay this whine bag is gonna take some Zantac, google heartburn, try to find a comfortable position to sleep in, and TRY to sleep. The legs are already jumping around so I better get out the rubbing alcohol as well and rub them down. Seems to be the only thing to help at this point in time.

Until Later
~J

Tachycardia BLOWS

I hate it!!!! That is all!!!

Until Later
~J

Today I feel like BUTT only 24 more days...

It started out okay, but then the whole shortness of breath thing started, and feel yucky. Body aches and my chest having pressure. I still think blood clot, but I'm just paranoid I know. And then my pulse got high a few times. I'm really ready for this pregnancy to be over. Baby girl wasn't moving much this morning but this afternoon she is and I am getting nauseous from it. :x soon enough she will be here and this will all be moot because I won't be pregnant any more!!! I CANNOT wait!!

Until Later
~J

Occipital nerve block and pg update :)

Yep, I had that done today!!! Ouch!!! I sat in a chair, the neuro felt around the back of my head to see where it hurt. Stuck the needle in, pulled it out a bit, stuck it back in, repeatx4. OUCH!!! He was pulling my hair, and it was just ridiculous. Then when he was done he put some pressure on it and wiggled his fingers around in it to disburse the steroid and laticane. It was "numb" for about 10 mins, then the stiffness started. But the constant aching pain at the base of my skull...gone!!! Hope it stays gone. I have a recheck next week and he said he could do it again if needed. Well...my hope is I'm having a baby!!! So I won't need to go until after ;) lol!!!
Fingers crossed!!!!

So baby update may be a bit TMI for some of u: I was woken up last night 4-5x with really strong contractions!! Enough to take my breath away and make me wanna vomit! Thank goodness I didn't!! Then this morning I lost huge chunks of my mucus plug. Ugh, such a gross word, but very descriptive!!! So needless to say, my body is progressing!! I can't wait until my appointment on the 15th to see if I have dilated anymore. I'm guessing I have, because I get those "awesome" cervix shocks!! Ouch! They zap ya when u least expect it. Lol oh the joys rights???
My HG has been somewhat forgiving this week. Monday was yucky with dry heaves and Sunday night, but so far....doing better. I hope it stays that way!!

Was going to work on packing my hospital bag, but...meh, didn't do it. The most I got done was putting baby girls take home outfit in the laundry to be washed. Lol I'd say that's a pretty big step!

So tonight, I'm blogging from the tub, yeah u read that right, the tub. I got in okay, but now I'm worried I can't get out. I guess I'll be hollering for the hubs to attempt to help me get out! Lol maybe just showers from now on!! Lmao!!! Good lord, watch out beached whale ;)

Until Later
~J

I slept until 10:30am

And it was glorious!!!! SO glorious!!!! Chitlin spent the night at my parents and spent the day there. It rained most of the day with thunderstorms, it was so relaxing!!! I'm so thankful I got to sleep!!! Today was a decent day :)

Until Later
~J

What a day?!!?

Called the nurse after a seriously sleepless night :/ 2 huge heart rate episodes...ugh... Nurse was worried my rhythm may have changed had me come in ASAP for another EKG. It came out fine. Doc is really perplexed as to why my HR is so crazy. He's convinced there is nothing wrong with my heart so it can handle the rapid HR. which is good news.
He checked me again and I'm 3cm. 3 freaking cm!!!! woot woot!!! So I am naturally progressing. He did think she turned and was breech since he couldn't find her head low. But when he did my pelvic check, he could tell her head was engaged in my pelvis. Which is also good. He did say today that he could admit me and break my water and I could have this baby, but he wants to wait to let her cook a little longer. Which I agree with obviously.
Next week tho on Monday when I have my appointment, I am going to ask him to strip my membranes. He may tell me no, and I will have to be okay with that.
BUT I am going to ask because I am so worried that my strength, endurance, and stamina for a vaginal delivery will be non existent!!! Also with the numbness crap! And I do not want that to happen and that is what I am going to bring up on the 15th.

Big headache tonight too with lots of numbness throughout my whole body. I go in on Wednesday for my occipital nerve block. Kinda freaked by that, but it will be okay. It can only get better, it can't get worse! Lol
I'll keep u all posted!!!

Until Later
~J

Calling the OB first thing tomorrow!!!!

Well it's 1:44am. I woke at 1:30, feeling slightly off. Went potty, got back in bed and my heart was beating so fast I could barely breathe!!! I lay on my left side trying to take my pulse but seriously it was going so fast I couldn't count it. I finally was able to do a quick 15 secs x 4 pulse, which I don't like doing, but it is at least 132!!! Ugh!!!! I just took it again and it is 134. I'm trying to slow it down with some square breathing, but it's not working. It just keeps beating harder and harder in my chest and my neck.
Ugh I hate this!!! It literally wants to make me vomit, which will be happening soon I'm sure!!!
My heart is pumping so hard it feels like a panic attack, but as of now I'm not panicking! This is probably on of the worst feelings physically I experience. And if there were something that could help, I would LOVE it!!! I really would!!! But...there really isn't anything, besides having this baby.

I'd like to get up and get some water but that will just make my heart race more. So for now, ill just lay here continue my square breathing and hope I don't vomit. Cuz honestly, it's right there!!! :(

Until Later
~J

2:26am and SICK, SICK, SICK!!! Oh this is horrible!!! This is beyond horrible! I just took a Zofran to try and help with the urge to vomit, but it's not working!!! I feel like I should be in the BR cleaning the toilet...getting ready. :(

Until Later
~J

What a great day :D

I had such a wonderful day with my MOAP friends at my lamb baby shower!! It was AMZING! Great friends and great food!! <3 I am so thankful!! I kept my low profile of not doing anything but sitting, opening gifts and snacking!! Anytime I even stood, I got shooed down! Lol best friends ever! I was physically and mentally exhausted after, but was SO worth it!!!

Now tonight, I'm feeling pukey and warm. I am all good tho. Take some meds and cuddle in for a much needed night of sleep.

So thankful!!!

Until Later
~J

Today NEEDS to be a good day!!!

I need it to be a good day today!!! I have friends coming over for a quaint baby shower! It is going to be an awesome time!!!! IF I don't toss my cookies and end up in bed because of my heart rate. :( it's completely ridic right now!!! I feel like complete butt! :( I need to kick the nasty negativity and push the positive vibes!!!!
I can do this!!!! I have to do this!!!! I wanna do this!!! I want to be socially normal today!!!

Until Later
~J

Twilight and Hyperemesis

How many of u have read or watched the Twilight books/movies??? When Bella is pregnant.....yeah that's pretty much what HG does to our bodies!!! And instead of needing to drink blood to stay alive it's: IVs and Picc lines with fluids and TPN!!! It's a crazy realistic comparison!! Although us non vampire carrying mamas endure pregnancy much longer!!

Until Later
~J

Pain pain go away

Come again NEVER!!!!!

Whine alert!!!! U have been warned!!!

I hurt from head to toe and every part in between!!! I've cried numerous times today because its so much.

I went to Menards today to get drawer pulls for baby's dresser. The walk from my car to the store seemed like an eternity!!! I walked in the front door and PROUDLY asked if there was a key for the motorized cart!!! The lady looked at me sadly and then told me there wasn't one I just needed to unplug it. So I got on and got my knobs. I brought the cart back to the front and asked to check out there. A different lady was there and wouldn't check me out. She said they weren't able to. Cry #1. I realize at this point I could have hopped back on the fun little cart and drove to the registers, but I thought, I could do it. Yeah, I WAS WRONG!!!! As I am seriously barely even taking steps, 2 different older women asked me if I was okay and if I needed help. Cry #2 I politely told them thank u but I was just slow. They both looked so sad. I made it to the check outs and the cashier scanned my stuff AND bagged it for me. If u know Menards, they do not bad ur stuff. I musta looked a wreck! Got my bag with my knobs and began to take my baby steps. Got to my car, got in, cry #3. Yeah I was on a roll!!! Sat there about 7 mins before I could even move. Headed home.
I was done physically and mentally!!!

I cried at least 2-3 more times tonight.

It is amazing how much I feel like a failure, even tho I KNOW there is nothing I can do to fix this or change this and it isn't my fault. I'm well aware I am not a failure, I am a survivor, but HG makes u feel so negatively about urself.

I'll be happy when this is done and over

Until Later
~J

I need to have this baby!!!!

That is all.....

Until Later
~J

Ugh I hate this feeling

I hate being short of breath and the feeling of not being able to get a full deep breath!!! :( it's so not fun!!! Because once this happens, immediately I feel like I am going to vomit!!! It's such a crummy impending death feeling. I hate it!!! Hopefully I won't have this for long. Blech!!! I brought it up to the doc on Tuesday but he didn't seem to worried about it. He checked my heart again, but really I think it's a lung issue. I'm still hoping it isn't a blood clot!!! Although I suppose if it was, I wouldn't be here. Lol ugh can't this baby girl just know her mommy wants her here and I just want to feel better!!!????

Until Later
~J

I took a nap today!!!!

I took a 2 hour nap today!!! It was amazing!! I can't believe I did it!!! I can't believe my body allowed it! Lol!!! It was most likely due to me doing a load of laundry and emptying the dishwasher. 2 simple tasks that whipped my butt!!! I had grandiose plans today (going to pick out knobs for baby's dresser), but it never happened. The couch was too comfy!!! Over all I felt well most of the day. Baby girl was sleepy today to and wasn't moving much! I got the Doppler out 2x just to make sure all was good.
Tonight my legs are tired, my eyes are tired, and I'm a little barfy feeling but not too bad. Hoping to get some good sleep in, even if it is a couple hours.

Until Later
~J

Anxiety, anxiety, and more anxiety!!!

Anxiety is such a crippling beast, and then u pair it with pregnancy and multiple other health factors and u r just in a pool of quick sand.
Recently my tachycardia is more elevated causing my anxiety to go up as well as my shortness of breath and chest pain not classic chest pain, but a difference in feeling for sure. It has my anxiety wound so tight that the last couple nights I've only slept 2-3 hours. I try to go to sleep or back to sleep for that matter and I can't. I have thoughts racing through my head. Typically based on how I'm feeling. If I lay on my left side my chest has added pressure, same with my right except that I'm cutting the circulation of in my arms, and forget about sleeping on my back!! The and restless legs are ridiculous!!! So with all the chest pressure, I know my heart is okay, but I constantly worry about a pulmonary embolism. It's not too far fetched, and they do happen. But it is my go to thought every time I have shallow breathing or shortness of breath etc.... What a horrible thought to have!! Blech!!! I'm really over anxiety and even more over this pregnancy!!!

Sleep??? What's that????

I think this chart shows nicely when I actually slept last night!!! I'm trying again tonight!! ;) wish me luck!!!!!

I need to remember this.....

Some days are MUCH easier than others....but all in all, I think a smile is just as good :D

Until Later
~J

Doctor's Appointment

So this is what I know so far:
Off of work, did group B strep, no weight gain, but my belly measured 36, doc brought up weekly checks to see about inducing and is willing to start induction at 38 weeks. Possibly strip my membranes at 37. I'm already 2cm dialated, and Baby is at -1 and my cervix is 25% effaced. So...I can be at this spot for awhile, but I'm hoping NOT!!! I'm so glad he brought up the induction. And he even said he wants to make sure baby's lungs are ready. Of course 😃 that's what I want too!!! So I'm off of work, which means we will be pulling Chitlin outta 4k to save $. He didn't tell me strict bed rest, but he told me I need to stay rested and to keep my HR down. Although today just walking in to the clinic it went up to 135!! Gotta love it right??
Oh I also got an IV!!! 2 actually!!! They gave me lactated ringers, I hope I don't barf it up!! That's what happened last time!!! Lol totally defeated the purpose! Anyway, that's what I know for now! Ill keep u posted!

My chest still hurts :( not sure what that is from, but it surely doesn't feel good. Doc thought maybe I pulled a pectoral muscle from vomiting last night? Idk, feels different than that. Guess we will see :D

Until Later
~J

Almost made it to 1am and am still up....

Back in the bathroom I am. Not vomiting this time. So that's good I guess. I woke up from my left arm hurting. I had managed to lay on my left side in a semi reclined position. Ouch!!! Lol!!! Even Baby girl didn't like it because she was kicking up a storm!!! Which in turn made me more nauseous. It's the 1 downfall to having an awesomely active baby....if she does move too much....u will puke.
I keep checking my left hand and foot to make sure there is no swelling. And so far so good. So I'm thankful for that.
Okay, nausea is upon me....ugh....help!!!

Until Later
~J

Well it's 2:05 and I'm still up and yes have vomited. I often wonder what kind of cruel sick joke is being played on me. (Pun totally intended) I mean really??
"Hey Joleen, I know how bad u and the hubs want another baby, but ur gonna have to work for it. Oh THEN when u do finally get pregnant your life is going to be a living hell!!! Hope u enjoy it :D" ugh the bastards of the universe!!! How I hate them!!! I'm not exactly sure who they are, but I hate them!!

Until Later
~J

And so it starts:

My night of not knowing which end bodily fluids/solids are going to come out of! Sweet!!! And the chills!!! Oh how I've missed the whole body trembling chills!! What an awesome night I am having.

I tried to sleep, but I can't lay on either side without my chest feeling very heavy. Sitting up is the only time it doesn't hurt. I better figure out mighty quick how I'm going to sleep. It sure as heck isn't going to be sitting on the crapper using the hair dryer to keep warm with the garbage pail between my knees!! Seriously...this is what my life has become. How is this even fair??? Sure wish I could post a picture for u all so u'd see how awesome I look right about now! Lol!!

HG has turned me into a crazy person!!! How wonderful! I'm sure u will get more updates as the night goes on.

Until Later
~J

Today=epic fail!!!

Did I have that title already??? I'm sure I have. I am so beyond sick it's not even fathomable. My HG is running top speed, I have a migraine from hell where EVERYTHING hurts, my left side is numb tonight and I feel like there is an elephant on my chest!! All going hand in hand. I spent most of the morning at work sitting in the back office with the lights low and tears just streaming down my face. Talked to my nurse, she sent me home. Got home and spent the afternoon barfing and dry heaving. AWESOME!!! NOT!!!
I'm so uncomfortable I can even put it in words. And no matter how hard I try to explain it or tell u what I'm going through, it will always be hard for u to grasp the true concept unless u have been there. I appreciate every one if u that read this!!i really do because I know u care. And yeah recently it has become a lot more of a downer blog, but I'm trying!! I really am!!! I just need to get over this huge mountain in my way.
Tmrw, I am going in BEGGING for an induction. Not to have it tmrw, because no one wants to have their baby end up in the NICU. Women don't think, "hey, I want a sick baby"
But because of all my issues I am having....I just need this to be done. I'd like to split the difference with him and pick April, 20,2013. Only cuz it's Chitlin's bday and I think she'd LOVE that. AND I will be 37 weeks almost 38!!
But I'm willing to go 38 wks and choose the 22. I just need my baby and get out of this hell!!!!
I'll keep u posted!!!

Until Later
~J