Sunday, January 26, 2014

GI virus??? Food poisoning??? The world hates me???

This weekend was supposed to be ALL about fun!! Going to an indoor water park with family and friends, and a friend's daughters 1st bday party!!! Did we make it??? Nope! Why??? Cuz I'm on the shitter. Yep, u read that right!!! I'm on the shitter. Most of the time I'm not sure which end it will be coming from so I decided that Chitlin's bathroom is best since the tub is right close and I can do both as needed. Which......I've needed. Anywho......the reason for this post is to talk about PTSD. Now, I haven't been Dx with PTSD, but I can tell you after spending all this time BACK in the bathroom, I can relate all to well. Not only am I physically sick, but mentally I'm a wreck!!!
When I first started heaving I went into flight or fight mode and tears started streaming down my face. This was happening, and it was happening RIGHT NOW!!! I ran as fast as I could to the bathroom. There was NO WAY I was puking in that toilet so in the sink it went!! Horrible!! I started burning up!!! I started shaking, the tears were flowing and I was scared for my life. Chitlin actually said, "dad, ma's puking....AGAIN!!! It's been forever, come help her!" I about died right there!!! 
Hubby helped me get calmed down, helped with the kids AND scrubbed the toilet spotless for me!! Thank god!! I ended up needing it 1 more time, then realized, I'd be using chiltlin's bathroom! Lol 
The fear that came over me, the utter panic, it was..., I don't know, I can't even put words to it. Poorly described it was scary. I hope this gi crap passes soon cuz quite frankly, I don't want to keep feeling this way!!!

Happy thoughts!!

Until tmrw
~J