Happy 35/35 day!!!! (And Easter too!!)

35 weeks down, 35 days to go!!!! This cannot go fast enough!!! I need it to go as fast as possible!!! I wanna be done!!

Happy Easter!!!!

Until Later
~J

Sleeping in the same bed as the hubs

It's always an adventure! Lol!! I never know when I am going to wake up during the night, but I know, when he's there I will!!! Tonight it was 12:30ish. I was jolted awake by snoring, then by right leg decided to join the party and jump around for what seemed like a whole minute. Prolly not even close to that amount of time!! But once my leg started jumping then my anxiety started. I think because I was in a deep sleep and then I was awake so fast. I think that's why my leg started too!!! Anyway, my go to now while in bed and anxiety hits like that is to do some square breathing/belly breathing. If that doesn't work I make a trip to the bathroom. Then I get back in bed and get on my iPod! Lol I tried closing my eyes, but it wasn't gonna happen!! Lol
So now I'm lying here, typing with one ear plug in (the other fell behind the bed. I gotta get it tmrw) with my relaxing melodies on trying to drown out the sound, while realizing last night when the hubs was gone....I didn't wake up once. Pure coincidence I'm sure *wink*

Okay going to try an sleep again. Prolly wont happen for sat least another hour, but at least I can try!!! Nighty night

Until Later
~J

Update: let the late night nausea begin!!! Oh yucky!!!! Hope this goes away some time soon! Pfffft yeah right!!!

Night everyone!!!

36 days!!!!

36 days!!!! 5 weeks and 1 day!!! I thought it was 35 days today but I was wrong :( tack that one back on. I CANNOT wait. I'm so ready but u all know that so I don't need to keep telling u.

The hubs and chitlin should be home soon!!! They were supposed to be home HOURS ago, but due to circumstances out of his control (his grandma) they ended up leaving WAY later than they were supposed to!!
I miss them and just want them home.

I ordered out supper tonight. Pizza and toasted ravioli. Yum! But I ate too much and I'm very uncomfortable. But so far it's staying down!!!!

Oooh they just pulled in!!! They are home!!!! Yay!!!!!

Going to give lots of hugs and kisses!!!

Until Later
~J

Home alone for the night. I wish that the hubs and chitlin were home, but they are having fun up at his grandma's. I had to work today and I am not feeling that well.

Went to the chiropractor today. My regular one was out today, so I went to her partner. He was very thorough, but was very different. My regular chiro is a woman, strong obviously, but has a certain way of doing things. This guy had a specific way as well...LOL. He adjusted the table to make room for my belly. He checked my leg length and then...BOOM...3x in a row, right on my pelvis, both his hands. I thought I was going to pop!!! Seriously!!! I'm not joking, I thought he was going to pop my belly! Lol then he moved up my spine and did 3 super hard pushes and I cracked the whole way up!!! Now, my chiro typically does the drop method, not the grab ur neck and jerk!! Well this guy did just that. He was very quiet and then CRACK, CRACK, CRACK, CRACK. And I screamed: "Oh, that scared me!!!" And he responded: don't worry it won't fall off.
Good lord!! I about died. But I feel better.

I'm home alone tonight :( and feeling a bit anxious, but hoping it goes away. Baby girl is moving like crazy and it's making me a bit nauseous, ok more than a bit, A LOT!! Going to bed soon in hopes I can sleep a bit tonight.

I think I mentioned this yesterday or the day before, but I'm asking my OB next Tuesday again about inducing. Not anything crazy inducing, because baby girl needs to grow and be healthy, but I am struggling so hard with all the things I am going through. Yuck!!!!

The water works have been on and off all night :(

I hope u like the picture I posted. It really is true!!!

Until Later
~J

Whoa....that was weird!

Was just laying in bed, hot pack on my head when I had this huge wave of "something" come over me. It was yucky. I didn't know if I was gonna vomit, pass out, or have to go to the bathroom!!! It was so yucky feeling.
I say up and took my pulse twice 92 and 94, while sitting on the edge of the bed.
I'm afraid to lay back down. What a weird feeling! Ugh...now I'm all jacked up and prolly won't be able to get back to bed.

No heart attack

my primary care doc looked at the EKG that was sent and he said that sometimes the leads are just off a bit and it causes false positives. THANK GOD. that is the last freaking thing I need.

printed off some literature for my nerve block that I am going to have and feel pretty okay with it. still a bit scary but seriously, the pain that I am having at the base of my skull is ridiculous and if I would have gotten in ions ago, maybe the pain wouldn't have been so bad.

Going to talk to my OB next tuesday about it and along with the MRI. it will be interesting to see what he says. I am also going to ask him about inducing again. Even if it is a week early, I don't care, i will have a date and I will know then. Oh it will be sweet. obviously it will only work if my body is ready. I know that. its worth asking again. don't judge, until you walk in my shoes.....just saying.....

Until Later
~J

1am, I'm not puking but.....

I'd sure like to be. Okay not really because puking doesn't really make u feel any less pukey. U still feel so nauseous!! Some of the Worst feelings ever.
1am and so abruptly woken up from a deep sleep from nausea, rapid HR, numbness, and cramping. I'm guessing gastro cramping but at this point it could be anything.i feel like such a ticking time bomb. I wish that I could sleep the days away like I did earlier in this HG hell. It was great to sleep half ur crappy days away. Now, not so easy. Nothing is "easy" anymore, except for that positive attitude easily slipping away. Boy do I need an anchor for that.
If any of u have an in with the Big Guy upstairs can u please give him the big thumbs up that its okay baby girl comes any day now. I'm waving my white flag, I'm ready to come out now.

Until Later
~J

My body is throwing in the towel, it's done!

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Occipital_neuralgia

That's half my problem :( my OB told me tension headache, but nope... Occipital Neuralgia. The treatment is to get a corticosteroid shot in the back of my head into the nerve.
The next part is that the neuro wants me to have a complete neck MRI but told me, that they are not proven safe nor harmful while pregnant so it would have to be MY decision about having one. Ugh....well, obviously, I don't want to hurt the princess, but I wanna know what the hell is wrong. Guess I wait until after. I should have made the appt now for after so I wont have to wait so long.

Thirdly, the neuro was reading over my ER notes from my (stroke like experience); mind u 3 other docs have gotten this SAME report!!!) , and noticed when the ER doc reported on the EKG they gave me, it showed I had had a minor heart attack prior! Wtf???? Wtf???? How did the ER doc not even mention that to me??? How did 3 other doctors "see" this report and not notice THAT!!!!! Ugh!!!! So the neuro wanted me to have the actual EKG sent to my primary care doc, so he could see it. Well, wtf??? He prolly doesn't know? So he'll have to have a cardio read it???
I'm so over this shit! I can't, I repeat, I can't keep dealing with this. The neuro did say it could very well be a typo and i hope it is.
I'm so over this, I just want my baby and I want my normal life back.
I seriously can't take another thing wrong with me. I just can't. Mentally or physically

Until Later
~J

34 week DR. Appointment

I have another diagnosis to add to my list of pregnancy issues. I'm sooo lucky!! I need to buy a freaking lottery ticket!!
1. Hyperemesis Gravidarum
2. Tachycardia
3. Restless Leg Syndrome
4. SPD symphysis pubis dysfunction

Check the link below. OUCH!!!

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Symphysis_pubis_dysfunction

Doc is watching my HR today sitting it was 84 or 88. Then when I stood up it shot up to 105!!! Crazy!!
Docs pretty sure it's due to me just having low endurance from being so sick and not being able to do a whole lot. But he still is monitoring it because he doesn't want it to get too out of hand.
He has me on weekly checks now too :) that made me happy. He also wants to monitor me for bed rest as well. He said this week isn't necessary, but will re-assess next week. Which I also appreciate!!
He's a little worried about my endurance for labor along with my HR so he wants me to try and walk 10 mins a day. Oh boy!!! Walking short distances with both SPD And high HR...I'm gonna do it because I have to...but I'll be sore for sure. But I have to. No passing out while giving birth!!

I brought up about induction and he said its early to talk about. So maybe the next couple weeks I will revisit it. Even if I can get induced on my due date I would be happy!!! 40 days!!!!!!

Until Later
~J

No post yesterday?!

I can't believe I didn't blog yesterday!! My first missed day! Unbelievable! I was so exhausted I went to bed early!!! Crazy!

Until Later
~J

Tummy cramps

:( I'm sure it's related to being back on my zofran, and the fact that I ate 1/2 a movie theatre size box of whoppers. My tummy HURTS :( Boo!!! I hope it passes because I want to go to sleep!! It's prolly a huge gas bubble! Lol!!

Until Later
~J

I'm ready

For baby to be here. Don't judge, but I'm done. My body is digging in its heels and saying no more. I know I'm just 34 weeks, I know she needs to cook as long as possible, but my body is done. Everything hurts. From my toes to my hair and everything in between. :( as long as she is healthy, she can come at anytime!!!

Until Later
~J

What do u mean I don't fit back in??

Just because our baby is here, it doesnt mean we are cured instantly. it has recently come up on my HG board that trying to fit back in after HG is hard. the stress it causes is equally upsetting as theHG itself was/is. The following entry is from a fellows HGer. I think she paints a beautiful picture of how one can feel after HG. She posted it 2 different times. That is why there are some time changes made. I hope this helps shed more light on the subject.

Borrowed from a fellow HGer.

I cannot even BEGIN to explain what I am feeling right now. I will try to explain, but I feel so ridiculously crazy. Right now, I'm the GO for the HG Sufferers group and I feel led to be there and to help women through. It helped me through in so many ways. Just a few days ago, I decided to come back to this group and I can't explain why I have twisting, painful emotions while visiting here and I think it hit me hard - I think I figured it out. This is for my recovery. This is not (oh my gosh I'm so totally starting to cry right now)....it is not for me to help others get to the end of their pregnancies, but it's me trying to treat myself and process what I have been through. I feel...lost in that. Because I had HG for so long...I was so alone. Now I am alone and I don't "have an excuse" as to why I am. I feel abandoned and lost because I don't have any friends since I fell off the planet for so long. I don't feel like I belong anywhere right now. I almost get excited when someone says something and I can relate to it because I don't feel so off. Like I can relate to that person or their story and feel like "hey!! Oh my gosh!!" I understand. That's powerful.

I read an article that one of you posted a second ago talking about how rare it is. I still have a hard time understanding that I fit into that category. The one who was hooked up to an IV my entire pregnancy, so many scars...I don't know how to leisurely bring up in conversation with someone that yes, I have thrown up over 2,000 times with my pregnancies combined. Easily that number is the sum. I don't know how to explain that the nausea was so bad I would grip the sheets and moan and beg God "PLEEEEASEEEE!" Over and over again with no other words. How do I get someone to see that I would wake up with my face on the toilet seat and be so out of it that I had no idea hours had passed as I just vomited every 20 minutes then laid my head back down and fell asleep again. I was either vomiting or asleep during my hardest times.

I don't know how to admit that I'm a victim without sounding dramatic or clingy or weird. Because to others - it is no big deal. If someone told someone that they were raped, all kinds of sympathy would poor out. Why do I need that affirmation as much? I feel alone and silenced. I feel like all of my suffering happened and in the blink of an eye it was gone and I was able to eat again and am starting to heal. But mentally...I can't come to grips with where I am at because I just don't know how to explain it. My life was HG before and it was just getting through day by day by day. Now my baby is two months old (and now 3, actually)...I have survived 3 pregnancies...I will never be pregnant again. That's a good thing from an HG perspective. So why am I struggling so hard to know that my HG was like a thief in the night - stealing so many things away from me, but never seen by the outside world. It's gone. It's just...gone. And I crave validation. I seek approval. I want closure. I don't know how to get it and I feel insane for it to even be an emotion because should it be? Should I not look at it the way others do? It was just excessive vomiting for months - your baby is here - you are not sick anymore. Why cannot I give myself grace in feeling this way....


Powerful!

Until Later
~J

What were u doing at 1 this morning???

I was scrubbing my toilet with my Lysol wipes so I could puke in a clean toilet. Damn u HG!!!! Damn you!!!! Puking up frothy stomach acid at 1:12am after not puking literally for over a month, HG u are cruel!!! Wake me up out of a groggy slumber....HG u need to leave!!!
Not only do I still feel nastily queasy, but now my body aches from heaving and I have a horrible, horrible headache! HG u are a €!tch!!!
Took a zofran and now, ill try to go back to sleep, but really, I just feel so pukey that I feel I need my "toilet ledge" (patent pending) so I can sleep while leaning on the toilet because you know it's gonna happen again.

At almost 34 weeks, HG I give u the big F....U!!!!

PS baby girl, whenever u feel healthy enough to make your appearance u just let mama know!! She is impatiently awaiting your arrival!!! Xoxo

Until Later
~J

Let the emotional waterworks ensue!

Ugh....just bawled my eyes out for 10 mins.
The HG is done being on hiatus, so here I am dry heaving tonight. I gotta admit the 8 days without zofran was great, but now the repercussions I am dealing with are dumb!!! Is it wrong to be hopeful that u don't need to me dependent on meds???

And while my mood swing is in full effect, I might add that Mother Nature better get her crap together and start bringing the warm weather!!! Last year 82* this year 15*! Wtf???

Off to cry some more (thanks mood swings)

Until Later
~J

10 days....I made it 10 days.....

Zofran free!!! I'm a slave to the medicine! 2 days ago I started dry heaving REALLY bad and noticed I wasn't eating or drinking nearly what I was. Still ok but not where I was....today the OB said it was time to go back on it. :/ good and bad.....

Also I have the option of bed rest for my tachycardia. I told him I would like to discuss further options, maybe shorter work days etc...he was open to that. So on Tuesday that's what we will talk about. i have enough FMLA, but I don't have short term disability or nearly enough Paid sick leave. BUT, I will do what the best option is for Baby girl.

And who knows being back on the zofran may help??? Idk??? At this point, I'm not surprised by anything!!!

Also, have my neuro appt on Wednesday!!! I'm not holding my breath for anything amazing YET as I may have left out that I was pregnant ;) so when I get there it may be a lost appt, BUT it may not either??? Who knows?? Lol guess ill find out next Wednesday! I really hope they can help me! I need the help. 

Until Later
~J

Baby Girl <3

Had my free extra u/s today due to low quality a couple weeks ago. Baby girl wouldn't cooperate. Lol she is head down in my pelvis already (per the us tech). Her pretty little face is wedged between my placenta and uterine wall!! Short of me getting up and doing jumping jacks, this little girl wasn't moving!! She is plenty comfortable!! Hope she keeps moving southward!!! ;)

Still having heart rate issues. I'm over this pregnancy!!!! Lets just call it even and have ourselves a baby :D

Until Later
~J

Crap, absolute crap...

This is how I feel!!! :( BP and pulse all over the board. Lets just have this baby and call it. I'm a heaping crying mess tonight. Everything hurts, nothing helps, and I'm mentally and physically done. I want to be so strong and power through this, but I can't. Today is a crap day and I'm vulnerable!! I've also noticed I've slipped into the not drinking enough or eating enough so I'm forcing liquids in like no other. It's making me so nauseous! I should start my zofran again, but if I can do it without I'd like to. But if my intake is affected, then I need to. Ugh!!!! Why can't I have a normal pregnancy!??? I just wanna be normal!!!

Until later
~J

Sinus tachycardia....say it with me...s i n u s t a c h y c a r d i a

Ugh one more fing thing to add to the list to make my pregnancy shitty. Monitor the next couple of days if it continues or gets worse, call ASAP and see what the next step is :/

My OB is hopeful that it could be a side effect of my unisom. However, I have been on that since 17 weeks, wouldn't this show up prior?? Oh well I'm willing to try anything at this point. I'd take my 24/7 nausea over this crap!!! :/

Lets see what happens tmrw.

48 freaking days....48 days!!!

Until Later
~J

Well...let's start this day off right! :/

8:20am and my pulse is already 125!!! Yuck!! I feel so gross. My BP is 116/70 so that's okay but the rest of me is just yuck!! I really am just out of it. Tmrw I have my doc appointment, but it's gonna be a LONG day!!! I'll update today as I get my vitals taken :/

Lets hope no bed rest!!! Not yet!! But if I need to I will.

11:45 BP 122/90 and pulse 156 calling the doc now....on hold to talk to the nurse will see what happens. Doc appt 3:45.
I'm feeling horrible can't even put it in words. Barfy, pain, shortness of breath, just overall hurt everywhere.

I'm ready for this pregnancy to be over!!!

Will update at doc.

7 weeks...49 days.....1176 hours....70560...minutes

this is how long i have left!!! I CANNOT WAIT!!!!! I CANNOT WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anxiety u suck and I hate u!!!!!!

1:24am and just had a major heart palpitation!! Oh my goodness!!! Felt my heart pound so hard and fast for a few beats it actually hurt. And now my anxiety is beyond its threshold!! I'm so over this shit....I just want this all done with!!!
*crying*
I'm just done!!
I'm done with waiting for my baby girl!!! I'm tired of dealing with all these ailments. I'm tired of the anxiety attacks where I constantly think my life is going to end...ugh I'm tired of it all!!! I just want my baby and I want us all to be done with this and all be happy. It really isn't too much to ask!! I just need thinks done!!
*trying to catch my breath*

Going to count, deal with my jumpy legs, and hope no more palpitations.

Until Later ~J

Yucky feeling still....

Ugh, lots of dizziness, and lightheadedness tonight. Not so much through the day. But just awhile ago it all started. Blah!!! I hate this feeling. But what can do is make it the last 50 days AND hope every last freaking ailment I have had this pregnancy GO AWAY!!!
My newest one, since stopping the zofran is restless legs!!! The most crazy $hit ever!! I can't even explain!! My legs, mostly my right one jumps around all over the place!!! Until I fall asleep and then it must stop. Or maybe it doesn't?? Idk.

Also my pelvis is killing me!!! What is up with this???
Okay gonna take my unisom, and go to bed!!!

Until Later
~J

BPs and HRs

Blood pressures still high for me but in the " normal range" and my pulse fluctuating between 82 nice and calm bed rest to 133 at work sitting in a chair answering phones. Good grief! I even kept my feet up on the garbage can most of the day ;) lol
Besides the BP and HR I'm feeling the typical effects of pregnancy. My pelvis hurts sooo much! Oy! And the shear movement of rolling in bed is ridiculous! I feel like I'm 90 and the size of a whale! My left leg is killing me too. When I actually lay down....I feel just how much I did today!

Positive for the day....still haven't needed the forbidden Z meds!!! I had a short period on the way home of dry heaves tonight, but I made it through!!!! :) this made me happy!!! Yahoo!!! Spent some much needed snuggle time with chitlin too! We watched veggie tales in the bedroom all comfy :D after we all sat down and had a great family dinner! I can't believe in 51(ish) short days this family of 3 will be a family of 4!!! Gonna cherish all my time with Chitlin that I can!!!

More bed rest and gross Gatorade this weekend.

Until Later
~J

Holy Pulse Batman!!

Today my pulse was 144!!! OMG!!! And my BP was like 136/80!!!! I'm typically 92/60 while preggers and a spot on 120/80 when not. I was at work and it hit me like a ton of bricks!! I instantly felt like shit!! The perk to working in a docs office....lots of nurses notice when u don't "look" ok! Called my OB, had my BP and pulse taken every 3 hours. It went down SLOWLY, and it fluctuated some. Tonight before bed it was 124/70 i think....I don't remmy off the top of my head...and pulse 83. Much better....but still high for me.
OB said watch it tonight and tmrw. If I feel the same tmrw or if it is worse, then I need to go in ASAP. So bedrest and Gatorade for me all night. Gatorade TASTES HORRIBLE!!! Blech! But...I chugged it down. Sorta! Lol
Gonna see what my numbers are tmrw. Fingers crossed they r good and no worries!!!
52 days!!!! 52 days and baby girl will be here!!! IT CANNOT come soon enough!!!!!!!!!!!

Until Later
~J

3 days....

I'm going on 3 days of no Z. I'm starting to think if this is a good idea??? I'm really nauseous right now and am thinking positive thoughts!!!
3 days off Z and still having some mild headaches, and the bizarre eye pressure, and my left arm being numb. I can't honestly say it is better or worse with out the Z. The nausea is obviously.
I thought I'd get a call from my docs office about my local referral, but nothing today!! :( guess I will wait until tmrw. I want to be able to tell the neuro that I have not been on meds for x amount of time but I'm still having symptoms. So they don't just write it off to the meds, or that I'm pregnant like apparently the other place did :(
So dumb!!!
I did some more research on Dr. Google tonight on pregnancy and migraines. More specifically where they r located etc. most are not one sided. But in my multiple pages of research I did find buried in one article, out of the UK maybe??? I don't remember. That some pregnant women who do get migraines can get auras as well. It's like 26% of women get migraines while pg, and 1-2% of them have migraines with Auras. Good god aren't I the lucky one if that is true??? 1% for HG and 1% for pregnancy migraine auras. I should buy a damn lottery ticket!!! Anyway....who knows what the truth to that is??? But for now I'll self Dx while waiting for a real doc.
I'm exhausted. I've been nodding on and off all night!

Until Later
~J

Afraid to put this in writing......

So, going on day 2 of no z-meds. I don't want to really want to put it in writing because I don't want to jinx anything. As long as I keep something in my stomach, I've been ok. Tonight on the way home with the hubs from kindergarten orientation for chitlin, YES KINDERGARTEN!!! :( I got the dry heaves, only 3 times, but it was enough to catch the hubs off guard and give me the "fear" look. And not the fear of oh ur gonna puke, but the fear that I might puke IN his truck! Lol!! Didn't amount to anything thank goodness :) got home and ate more carbs!!! CARBS, CARBS. CARBS!!! It's pretty much all I eat....
Anyway....so about not taking my Z...
I still have pain at the base of my. Skull, AND my left sided numbness and tingling have been making their appearances!!! I'm not sure what the half life of Z is but is figured it's be mostly out by now. But who knows??!!! I have been taking it for almost 8 months!
Waiting on a call from my PCP's nurse tmrw about neuro. She was out this afternoon so I have to wait....hopefully I will get some sort of info tmrw. *sigh*

Missed my 32week OB appt today because I needed to do some training for work. WHICH the IS trainer had HG with her pregnancy 6 years ago!!! He didn't know that's what she had!!! She was on Z, needed IV fluids, and could barely. Go to work and her Doc NEVER told her she had HG!!! She vomited for 9 months 30-3 times a day and her doc NEVER said a word!!! I didn't ask, but I wonder if she had my crummy OB???
This got me to thinking about after this baby girl is here, who will I go to for my yearly exams?? I'm not gonna keep who I have now as he is really Family Practice and isn't taking new patients, and I AM NOT going back to who I had prior!!! And I don't really wanna go back there to another doc in case I have to see my old OB. But I really shouldn't be afraid. I should be proud of the decision I made and if she would even recognize me (I doubt she would) I doubt she would question it! And if she did, I would tell her the truth and be proud of it. It was my baby girl's and MY life for goodness sake!!

Okay, almost 10, I'm bushed!!! Night y'all!!

Until Later
~J

Stopped my zofran

I don't know if this is good or bad (yet) but I took only 2 yesterday, and didn't take any today. I did take my unisom tonight, and I plan to keep taking that. I'm just feeling so overwhelmed with everything, the meds, the symptoms, the side effects, ugh...I feel like I'm in a big vicious circle that I am not in control of anymore. Tonight will be telling how I feel in the morning with no zofran. I'm thinking positive and thinking its a good change....I'm not even gonna mention a BUT. I just want things better, I need them to be better, and I need to feel back in control. *sigh*
I can't wait for little one to be here!!! I also can't wait to never be pregnant again.

Until Later
~J

So incredibly defeated.....

I called the neuro office where my referral went today. IT DID NOT GO WELL!! I'm so defeated....the triage nurse told me they couldn't see me. When I asked why she said because I was pregnant and had headaches. I said yes, but the headaches are not what I'm worried about it is the almost constant numbness in my left arm. She repeated herself that yes she understood but I was pregnant and had headaches. Is this woman speaking in F-ing code I don't know??? I lost it, I started crying and said, why does no one care that I'm 32 years old and my arm is numb??? That isn't normal! I just want to make sure I don't stroke out giving birth or have an aneurysm. I just want to know I'm okay and my children will have a mom! She told me to call my PCP and talk to him because they r sending my referral back. What can I even do?! Just typing this makes me wanna cry again!!!
I talked to my pcp's nurse today and she said she would look to send a referral to their neuro. I did not want this originally :/ I don't want to be in this specific system....but what choice do I even have anymore!??? I just want this Shot to be over! This is causing me more stress than ever.
I just want an answer!!!! guess ill call my PCP tmrw and see what the figured out! Sooooo dumb!!!!! Just so incredibly dumb!!!!!!

Until Later
~J

Migraines, migraines, migraines....

Ugh can they please just go away??!!! I've decided to start to half my medication. To see if it will help. Yesterday and today I only took 2 instead of 4, but I'm thinking now that I should half my pills and instead of 4mg I should take 2mg? I think it may help or it won't help at all. So frustrating.

Tomrw I will be calling the neuro clinic and checking on my referral AGAIN!
This time to follow up on all my paperwork I sent to them LAST Monday!!

And now to the good news....I have 8 weeks to go!! 56 days!!! 56 freaking days!!! I never thought I would ever make it this far!!! I am happy to be this far, I just need it to be over with and hold my (our) baby girl :)

Until Later
~J

I need to have this baby!!!

I can't keep having these up and down days!!! I can't handle this all :( it is too hard in me physically and mentally to have good days and then an über bad day. I just can't adjust! It's toooo hard. I know I'm whining and I know it's because I'm on the couch not being able to do anything. I thought I was getting a cold but that passed. It's my HG! Damn HG!! My heart is pounding so hard in my chest that I can feel it in my ears. So over this!!
57 days. Not very long I know!!!! But still too far away to do any good. :(

Banished to the couch...ugh....

Until Later
~Whiney McWhinerson

58 days!!!!! and a crib

58 freaking days!!! The nausea wont give up! Really what the hell?! I have 58 days to go and This damn nausea is going to be with me to the freaking end.  Its okay, Baby girl and I have had a talk....And I  keep telling her anytime the week of April 20th is good. Lets keep our fingers crossed!!!!


So I had the hubs pick up the crib from his mom's house last week. It was only used 2 times!!! I was putting the sheets etc on it today and I noticed there was a HUGE CRACK in it!!! I freaked out right away!!! I told him that we need to get a new crib. (we really can't afford one, but WE CANT USE THIS ONE!)  So we compromised and for now we are going to take Lilly's headboard (which is part of her crib) and we will just use her old crib.  I liked hers it was very sturdy!! although she chewed and gnawed on it like a darn woodchuck! but it will be good.  Still looking for a dresser too. Nothing like waiting til the last minute. I can't help it tho....I was sick for so long. I still don't have the endurance to "go" shopping. My friend Kelly suggested the motorized scooter to shop with....Guess I am going to have to actually do that. LOL!!! too funny! anyway.....Chitlin and I are getting ready to snuggle down, I am exhausted (and the headache is ridic! OH!!!!)

So, funny story here.....NOT REALLY!!! I get my paperwork from the Big City Neuro right.....I fill out the paperwork and send a crapload of extra stuff. I told you all that already....WELL....2 days ago I get ANOTHER FREAKING PACKET!!! YES....ANOTHER ONE... EXACTLY the same as the one they sent me before BUT with a long welcome letter. WTF are they doing to me? Seriously? Monday, I will be calling them and telling them, I NEED AN APPOINTMENT BEFORE I HAVE THIS BABY!  I am so afraid I am going to stroke out pushing Baby girl out. Such a scary thought. Morbid, but reality.....thanks anxiety....Thanks HG.....Good Lord!

58 days....actually, it is 8:30pm...Lets just call it 57 ;)

Headed to snuggle with the chitlin'

Until Later
~J

Today is Thursday....today is Thursday

Day 2 at the new job! LOViNG it!! I'm making it the 8 hours, but I'm exhausted by the end of the day and BEYOND nauseous!!! I'm hoping it will pass soon! Ha! It will pass in 59 days!!!
I got my hair cut tonight!! 6 inches off!
I'm loving it!!!

Off to bed soon!

Until Later
~J

I can't wait....

To not be sick anymore!! 60 more days!!! I cannot wait!!! And I'm just praying that the nausea goes away....that's all I need, well not all...lets be realistic, but I want my baby in my arms, the nausea gone, and to feel like a typical postpartum mom. Exhausted because of a new baby, not because my body is shutting down.

I still say baby girl, I will love u with all my heart no matter when u decide to come, but if u come as early as the week of April 20th and are healthy as can be....mama will give u extra kisses!!! (That's the safe 37 week mark). Although the longer u cook I know it's for the better...but please don't go over!!! Thank you!!! Love, Mama

Until Later
~J

The ABC's OF HG

The ABC's of HG.....Borrowed from another Blog.....Worth the quick and easy read....Enjoy I did.

Until Later
~J

New job!

Today I started my new job. ;) I now work 8-5, 3 days a week as a receptionist! :) I really liked it. I was physically and emotionally drained after. I haven't worked that many hours in a long time. And even though I was sitting most of the day, sitting is still work because I am against gravity. But it went well. I'm happy for the change and look forward to learning more. I'm happy to be off the next 2 days tho. Nausea hit me hard after. And the drive home was rough but I did it. I've been lying down since I've been home. Ill be bed by 8!!! I'll need to get the heating pad out tho, my arm is pretty numb and I'm cold!!! Whine, whine I know!!!

Neurology paperwork was mailed off today!! Hoping they get it tmrw and they call me!!! Hoping to get a call no later than Wednesday!!! If I don't hear from them I will be calling for sure!!!!!

Until Later
~J

Blah!!! Blaaaaaah!!! Blaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

I was going to title this blog Death, as in, I feel like it. BUT.....decided that may be a little morbid. Even tho the truth is anxiety is creeping in to night and making me feel like the impending doom is near. I know it's not. I know things will be fine but Blaaaaaaaah! I feel like death. By this point, I probably don't even need to go into details of how I feel and what my symptoms are! Lol you all prolly have em all memorized! So ill just say I think my head is gonna explode, along with my left eye and my ear.
Those of u that are migraine sufferers I have a new respect for u. I'm pretty sure I mentioned that before. I also am jealous that u can take medicine to help ur migraines. I would seriously pay some big money right now if it were ok for me to take 800mg of ibuprofen! Omg glory to god if I could! Lol. Instead I'm laying with my left eye closed to see my iPod with my head on a hot pack. I can take my pulse from the base of my skull. That's how much it's throbbing. Anyway....
I stayed in bed all day today EXCEPT to shower, go to work for an hour, pick up some quick things at target and the pig, and dinner. Otherwise, I have been in bed all day.

While at Target I seriously though about getting a motorized cart!!! I shoulda! I mighta felt better! Of course target didn't have any of the things I needed (bras underwear sweater) so when I got in bed, got the laptop out and ordered from Walmart. I know I know Walmart, but it's the only place that carries what I need, so for now...score. Okay my face is starting to hurt from squinting.
Gotta get to bed, fill u all in on the news tmrw :) I got some good stuff to share!

Until Later
~J

9 weeks, 63 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

even tho I am incredibly close.....I still find myself subconsciously thinking....."just, let my water break," or "can't baby girl just be here." I know that she needs to be in there as long as possible! I know this! But the damn HG makes you think things that you don't normally think. like in the early days. but the early days the thoughts were much more DARK and GRIM!!! (which I still feel guilty about even thinking those darn thoughts!)  I woke up at 8:30 today, ate breakfast by 9:30 and I am back in bed already. *sigh* I am beyond nauseous and don't even wanna think about the 1 hour I have to work today OR the fact that the hubs wants to go shopping for MUCH NEEDED supplies today. Which, we really need. But I don't know if i am going to be able to make it. =-( 

My body and mind are soooo over all this. I can't even think straight or function. blech....happy sunday y'all huh? Just call me debbie downer today. I can take it. I have been called worse.

Gonna try and sleep before work this afternoon. Wish me luck!

Until Later
~J

Visitor =-) and Neurology paperwork

My cousin, Abbi came to visit today!!! I was so happy to see her. Unfortunately after a bit, I started feeling really shitty. i had a bad pain in my chest, it got all hot and spread around. And then i couldn't think of my words I wanted to say. So a little of anxiety hit me but then I got really nauseous and sat in my parents' bathroom for awhile because I wasn't sure if I was gonna barf or not. I didn't. But it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was ready to go to bed. I stuck it out and I smiled and kept talking. But man, I was dying.  She headed out to hang with some friends and said she would swing by tomorrow to say goodbye. =-) I was happy to see her!

After she left, I lay on the couch for a bit and just tried to regulate my body again. I was all whacked out. =( I got to a point where I felt okay, and I started to read and fill out my paperwork that I got from the Headache clinic (neurology referral) after reading through this paperwork, it is apparent to me that my small town nurse DID NOT explain to the BIG CITY nurse my exact issue of why i needed this referral EVEN THOUGH MY REFERRAL SAID LEFT SIDED NUMBNESS.... but I digress.....a neurologist is a neurologist at this point. I am happy for anyone to see me. I started to fill out the paperwork, when did your headaches start? what are they like now? what drugs have you tried? explain the pain etc.

So, yes I have headaches, and yes I would say that I have had the occasional migraine during this pregnancy. BUT....My left sided affectedness of numbness and tingling along with my eye issue and the pain at the left side of the base of my skull (yes this can be considered a headache) isn't what I define as a headache, and Doesn't fit into or onto their headache questionnaire.   what does one do???  Well...this ONE, types up a 4 page "report" of her initial "stroke like experience," and what has happened since then. (this was super emotional for me to type up and go through it again, my anxiety went through the roof tonight and I had a really hard time with it.) I also include a table on meds I was taking up until my referral date and now my current meds. I did some research on B6 and I think I could have had too much in my system. anyway....and then I included my 2 excel worksheets of all my symptoms that I brought with me to my PCP for him to realize that YES I NEEDED THIS REFERRAL.

I am sure the triage nurse that will be revenging my packet  back in the mail will think i am neurotic! And you know what THAT IS OKAY!!! it will deem me a visit then. I put a note in there that I wanted to be a thorough as possible and that I didn't want to leave anything out. Which i am sure I left things out, but after 4 pages, who the hell wants to keep reading about how shitty a person feels? I also wanted to let them know that I was indeed pregnant but I didn't want them to jump to the decision that well, this is happening because she is pregnant. I wanted to get it in the mail today yet, but it was too late. I will get it in the mail first thing on Monday and hope they get it by Tuesday and I get my call on Wednesday. Oh how great that would be! I for sure need your positive vibes and your prayers if you are the praying type.

okay, its 10pm. My head hurts, my arm hurts, my eye hurts, i have heartburn and baby girl is pulling a gremlin on me again. I need meds and sleep.

Until Later
~J

64 days left!!

64 days left to feel like $hit! 64 days left to figure out a nursery. 64 days left of WORK!!! 64 days until I (we) get to meet our little princess!!! I'm hoping day 64 is a good one. I need a good day here :)
I'm off to work a crapload of hours today but plan on veggie on the couch the rest of the afternoon.

Slow and steady wins the race right??

Until Later
~J

Ultrasound Pictures!!!!

I went today for another 3D/4D ultrasound.  It is amazing what a difference there is between week 16 and week 31!!! I will post for comparison. The tech wasn't happy with the pictures today and really I wasn't THRILLED, with them, but I was happy to see baby girl again. AND because the Tech wasn't happy, that means I get to go back again for FREE!!!! YAHOOO!!! I get to see her again! So excited about that!  My bestie got to come with me today and she was sooo excited. She was excited to see baby girl, BUT she was ALSO excited to see 3D/4D and how it all works! (She's going to school for ultrasound tech. she was in heaven! LOL)

I don't want to sound ungrateful, because I am not, I am happy I got to see baby girl, but I was sad that I didn't get to see more clear pictures. The tech said she was head down, but her face was all smooshed up against my uterine wall and so there was this shadowing and the tech had to get at a weird angle. I was rolling all over the table. =)

Here you go. I hope you enjoy them

16 weeks "kitten" picture LOL 

30 weeks Profile 1

30 weeks Profile 2

 30 weeks

Enough already!! I am done with this ultrasound business!!

Until Later
~J