Recovering today

I spent most of the day recovering from my insane anxiety attack last night!!! It was really intense and I really thought I was going to need to use my rescue med. but I didn't. I made it through.

I took some time today to try and figure out what is causing these late night (while I am sleeping) attacks. The pattern that I could find was I take my meds right before I go to bed. Then within 1-3 hours the baby is up. I'm thinking I'm in such a deep sleep and the meds are metabolizing that it catches me so off guard it throws me into a panic. 

I am going to take it earlier tonight and see how it works.  And see if it is any different. It's really the only thing I can think of. 

I'm really upset about this whole anxiety thing! It pretty much surpasses HG as the worst thing in the world!! With HG I knew it would end, I knew what caused it, I had a rough idea of what was and going to happen to me. Now it's a fricking free for all!!! I have no idea what's going or coming or what's gonna happen or when!!! WORST ever! I'm over this shit!!!

Until Later

~J