Doc appt

Well, it went okay but not exactly how I wanted lol. I wanted to stop the propranolol bcuz of the horrible side effect of diarrhea!!! Yuck!!!! And really I think that my pulse/heart rate is okay. But dr wants me to give it another week to see how it goes. I'm willing to try, but would rather not. 

He also told me he wants me on the Celexa. Which I told him now that I am not breast feeding :( I'm okay with taking it. With the events going on in my life I feel that it is a good choice. I had been on Celexa before years ago, but never while on another med and definitely not while having hormonal changes!!! I am not opposed 1 bit to take it tho to help with my anxiety! 

So ever since my HG and taking a billion pills a day, I have become hyper aware about not taking a bunch of pills all at the same time. I space them out. At the least...15 mins apart but ideally an hour or more. It can be challenging, but tonight I managed Tylenol, wait 30 mins, propranolol, wait 1 hour, then Celexa. I fell asleep fast. I fell asleep hard (this kind of bothered me because I don't want to be "out of it") but I heard the baby so I wasn't to out of it. But then I was awaken by a burning sensation at the base of my skull. Of course I looked it up while half asleep and it is a very common side effect, but OUCH!!! It really felt like I was being burned. 

Anyway...no halter monitor for now, going to try these meds. Meeting with my therapist on Thursday about my anxiety due to my HG. I'm kind of anxious for that. Go figure! Lol I am hoping to really be able to talk through a bunch of things and am interested on her insight of HG suffered and PTSD. Because I would say I truly qualify!!! 

Until Later

~J

Oh I almost forgot. Called my neuro and he is out until Wednesday. So hopefully I will hear back by them. 

Should be sleeping but I am not go figure

So another ER trip last night. It was horrible I had a really bad attack of shortness of breath (SOB) and dizziness, lightheaded ness. I'm so over all this crap. ER doc was great!!! I really liked him...a lot!!! He had me do a chest X-ray with contrast. Whoo that stuff is wicked!!!! And it makes u feel like u have wet urself even tho u don't. Anyway...everything came back ok. No blood clots in my lungs!! That's great!!! But now what is causing my SOB????

Well, not even 10 mins ago I'm laying in bed and the back of my head (left side) starts to hurt...a lot. Enough to wake me up. The pain surges and causes me to get really nauseous, dizzy, and I start to panic (a little). I try to go back to sleep but I'm too nauseous and ill admit, a little afraid.  Once 8 rolls around, I'm calling the neuro and I'm telling them, I'm not waiting until the 22nd for them to "see" me again AND then wait for an MRI. I want this completed NOW!!! And I'm glad I had this experience this morning because I can explain it first hand!!

I'm also going to tell my doc I don't want to take the propranolol anymore (it gives me the runs!!) , but I'm open to taking the Celexa (which I haven't started yet). Hopefully the OB will be good with that. I'm sure he will be. 

I'll fill u in on my phone call and my appt.

Gonna get ready now that I'm awake :/

Until later

~J

Really thought this would be over by now

But I guess not! I guess I'm the Lucky one that continues to feel horrible and have multiple things go wrong with my health. 

I have narrowed it down to 2 probable "REAL" causes....Hormones and Anxiety. 

But there is a part of me that knows there is something wrong physically as well. 

Hormones F u up!!! There is no other way to say it. I truly think there is something wrong with my thyroid even tho they tested it. My numbers were kind of on the high side.  I hate hormones!!! I hate what they do to u. I was on birth control for so long and didn't really see what it was doing good or bad. At the time, I just didn't want to get pregnant!!! 

I currently do not like the thought of hormone replacement or synthetic hormones. But dealing with this postpartum crap this time I'm desperate to try anything, even going back on the pill, knowing that I don't 100% agree with it.  Ugh....life really deals u crap hands sometimes!! 

Anxiety is just a given with all the shit I've been dealing with! And it has been proven that Anxiety can cause physically medical conditions along with stress!!! How not cool!!!! F u anxiety and stress!!! 

The weird part of this with me is, most of my episodes happen at night ( in bed) or when I'm doing physical activity. Walking with the baby, standing washing bottles, showering. Or even just standing. My body just doesn't know how to respond anymore. 

HG has ruined a lot of things for me, and it continues!! I am glad that it hasn't affected the way I feel about the baby!!! No ppd. But I do have the anxiety. 

The HG continues to hurt my food and fluid intake :( I just weighed myself today and I weigh 163. Pre-pregnancy I was 195!!! And at the time the baby was born I was 190. On Monday I will be 2 weeks postpartum. I can't imagine 27 pounds in 2 weeks is all that healthy. Will be talking to the doc about that too!! Ugh...so much crap!

Weight loss-food aversions

Shortness of breath w/pain - blood clot or asthma

High blood pressure - random times

Tachycardia with little activity

Migraines and all the crap that goes with it! --neuro....will call him on Monday as well! 

Until Later

~J

Sooo sorry for being on hiatus!!!

There has been sooo much happening in our lives, I just can't keep up with it all. Not to mention the fact that I AM STILL SICK!!!! Not 100% with HG, but it lingers. For the most part my nausea has gone away along with the vomiting....HOWEVER....in a blink of an eye it will hit me so hard, at any instant (lately at night) that I'm puking in the toilet before I'm able to clean it!!!! Those of you that are loyal readers know....I DO NOT puke in a dirty toilet!!! Well, Thursday of this week....I did! Oh the humanity!!! The food aversions are stronger than ever!!! I cannot get past them. I know I'm just short of 2 wks postpartum, but damn it...I wanted to be able to eat that seriously greasy bacon cheeseburger!!! Now just typing that makes me wanna GAG!!! I have been trying SO hard to keep up on my fluids as well. No such luck :( despit how hard I try even getting 60+oz in, isn't cutting it. 

ER

I've been to the ER twice in 2 weeks. Last week and this week. Hence twice in 2 weeks. Anyway....I went in for heart palpitations (which I have been told TWICE now are "typically harmless" yay, but they still scare the shit out of me!) difficulty breathing, and chest pain. Both visits resulted in IVs due to dehydration. Both resulted in EKG hook ups. One displaying bradycardia (slow heart rate) the other was fine. One visit got me hooked up to the big monitors for observation where they watched my blood pressure climb and climb and climb. The other the doc said, "meh ur not too bad, nothing to really worry about. One did a head CT and a chest X-ray after they saw my BP go to 180/100 while I sat on the uncomfortable gurney. I've never seen a nurse move so fast in my life. ER visit one---unexplained High blood pressure. Offered to admit me for observation (oh thank you god!!! Yes!!!), but clearly said, chances ate they won't find anything in such a short stay, and of course your baby (who was 4 days old) can't stay with you unless your husband chooses to stay but he wouldn't be very comfy as they don't actually have places for visitors to "sleep." OK well thanks ill follow up with my PCP

Second ER trip suggested I have a halter monitor for at least 72 hours. I'd actually prefer that!!! Anyway...

Called my PCP after both ER visits. 1st one he prescribes me Celexa for headaches and anxiety I am sure, even though he didn't come right out and say it. He tells me it is safe to take while breast feeding. I get the script and right on the bottle....do not BF while on this med. well, guess I won't be taking it then.  2nd call he gives me another script propranolol ER 60mg. "Safe" while BF. so I try it. Today was day 2. It hasn't made a difference yet. Its only day two. OH crap!!! I left the italics on that whole time!!!! Ugh that's lame!! Did research on both and both can be a really scary med, but can also be very helpful. However, when taking them together they have moderate contraindications!! Ugh omg!!! Seriously!!!! So at this point I still have not started the Celexa. And prolly won't unless he'd rather me on that instead of the propranolol. 

So most of yesterday I was having the worst chest pain and shortness of breath. Didn't matter what I was doing it hurt/bothered me the same. As the night went on it was more of a not being able to catch my breath along with a nagging cough that I've had for the past couple weeks. Hubby convinced me NO ER....but I think I will go today. It's been hours and everything all still hurts!! I hope my parents can watch the girls. 

ANYWAY.....

So Google is not a doctor, and when u know u shouldn't be looking symptoms up on it......u totally do. Mine all comes back to the same answers I'm either having a heart attack, angina, have a pulmonary embolism, anxiety/panic attacks ( which these are most likely) EXCEPT something popped up this time that hasn't before and it really got me to start thinking about it----adult asthma!!!   Which can be induced by PREGNANCY!!!! I couldn't believe it! As I was reading it I was hanging on every word as it is exactly how I feel!! All the symptoms everything. That is why is like to go to the ER to have them check it. 

I'll keep u posted!!! I'm going to try to sleep before the baby wakes up... Not sure It is possible, but I'm gonna try! 

Take care

Until Later

-~J 

And the medical issues continue....

I'm just going to paraphrase this:
Been having palpitations, shortness of breath, chest pain...all the same crap, headache etc. called the OB on Friday he suggested some caffeine, drink, drink, drink, AND eat!!! Which I did need to do!!

I called my neuro cuz the headache was resulting in me vomiting the night before etc.... Neuro said I needed to go to the ER bcuz of just having baby and having a "botched" epi...
So 5 hours later in the ER with my poor husband (who was bored out of his mind) and the newborn, they said I was dehydrated and gave me an IV and my Blood pressure began to skyrocket!!! It was crazy!! 157/78 was really the only one I remember besides the one the nurse took which was 180/101. And that's just crazy to me!!! But that's what he told me. So they checked my urine for protien, did a head CT and a chest X-ray along with some blood tests. All to tell me that they don't know what's wrong with me, but they were will to admit me for observation, but baby couldn't come with unless hubs stayed with. So obviously I said no because what mom would leave her 4 day old!?? Plus the doc said chances are, in 24 hours they be able to find anything wrong anyway.... WTF??? I just don't know anymore!!!

So my plan is:
1. Call my OB tmrw to follow up to give the info from the ER.
2. Ask my OB if he is willing to be my primary care physician. If not, I will transfer to Dr. B who is really cool and I think I can be more open to her. Although, I shouldn't feel that way about my OB, but he isn't my pcp.
3. Talk to whoever is going to be my pcp about: epi side effects, high BP, thoughts/fears of blood clot in my lung. Although, if I did have one of substantial size....I'd probably know it!!
4. Contact my counselor to talk about my anxiety and medications and to talk about the side effects of HG.
5.Follow up with my neuro appt on Wednesday.

Gosh, that's a lot of stuff!!! But I gotta do it, and I have to be proactive not reactive!!!

I may just be panicking and my body just went through a very traumatic 9 months and my hormones are everywhere!!!! But I admit I need help through this. I'm strong but I'm not strong enough to keep going on by myself.

Everyone can always use a little help from their friends ;)

Until Later
~J

Finally!!!! My birth blog!!!!

We went into the hospital just before 1pm on Monday, April 29. Got settled in and they broke my water. Once they broke it they noticed it was a greenish color, not clear like it should be. So that means that baby had a BM (meconium) in utero. As a precaution they have the nicu there when the baby is born.
So after a couple hours and my water being broke, I only had 1 contraction. So they decided to start pitocin; or as I call it the devil!
It started slow, no problems. Well, within 5 mins I was having full on contractions!!! OH BOY!!! The rule is u can't get an epidural without ur doc there. Mine just happened to still be working at the clinic. He got there in a decent amount of time as I was REALLY in A LOT of pain!!! A LOT!!! The anistesiologist (sp) showed up did some explaining and he started the epi. I was at 6 cm. and the epi wasn't working!!! My left foot was numb...that's about it!!! In about 45 mins I went from 6-10 with only my left leg numb from the knee down!!! The contractions were wicked insane and all I could do was inhale, exhale, count...it was the worst pain ever at the time, now I can't even remember it! A few pushes and at 8:47pm and Chitlin 2 was born!!!! She was blue but making noise. The nicu nurses who are awesome, took care of her. I couldn't see everything, but the hubs said they deep suctioned her, and one of the nurses, Michele, did tell me that she was on the Cpap machine for a few mins, but came around quickly. I think that I heard them report that her R lung didn't inflate at first, but it came around and she did great!!
I was praying for the instant HG relief, but it didn't come :/
The hospital stay went well and we came home on Wednesday :)

Until later
~J

Yay!!! She's here!!!

I know I've been off for a few days!!! Hope no one has missed me too much ;)

Our little bundle of joy was born on Monday night!!! I'm so happy!!!

Still nauseous and having some headaches and other side effects, but I'm pretty sure it is 90% epidural 10% HG.

I can't wait to post everything!!! No time now. I want to be able to take my time and get everything and everyone correct ;)

However, I'll give u a photo tease ;)

Thank you for all ur continued support!!!

Love,
Joleen